The last couple weeks we have been having issues with Kenzie being loud at certain times. We would ask her to be quiet or we would give her the shhh, and she’d ignore us and keep singing or talking or making whatever noise she wanted. We were frustrated. We were giving consequences but continually felt like we weren’t making progress. I have talked about training before the moment, and what I did today is similar to that. It is basically training when you aren’t in the heat of frustration. With our situation and Kenzie, I was able to practice with her when we weren’t so annoyed. I told her to sing, talk or make noise. Then, I’d ask her to be quite or tell her to shhh. Throughout the day, we practiced at random times. It did translate when I really needed her to be quiet. We will probably need to practice more, but it is so effective to work on things with kids in play as well as in neutral moments. Our game, “Yes Mommy,” is another example of practicing during neutral times.
I have done a post before on 10 Ways to Calm an Angry Child. I want to give you some more tools to handle anger in a child. I also want to encourage you to get to the root of true anger. Kids can become angry and frustrated just because they’re kids and don’t know how to handle their emotions yet. This can come from simple things like not getting exactly what they want. You may experience signs of anger. Some kids naturally have a more aggressive bent. However, other kids have true reasons to be angry. This often stems from division in spouse relationships. It can also be an evil being done to them - the evil can by physical or verbal. Sometimes there might be issues with other children at school or relationships with siblings. Maybe there are frustrations because of struggles in learning or developing. Try to get to the root of it. Please try to not live in denial about the roots. If it is something that is being imposed on them because of the relationship with your spouse, please try and fix it. It effects your kids more than you know. If it’s something external, help them. However, we need to be willing to tell our children that their feelings of anger should not be kept inside and pent up. They need tools to express it. Try and not let these activities become a reward for aggressive or angry behavior. If you can catch them quickly before it turns negative and pre-emptively strike, that’s the best idea.
I often feel like I’m in so much of a hurry. My kids are noticing something new on the sidewalk or staring up at the sky, and I’m trying to rush them on to our next thing. I don’t often enough take time to let them hook and re-hook their carseat straps just so they can become better at doing it. I want to rush off to wherever I think we need to go. Our walks become for exercise and purpose rather than taking time to just enjoy each other and our environment. Part of doing this blog was to live in the moment and be more intentional in my time with my kids. Part of that time just needs to involve being and helping to discover life through the eyes of a child - with wonder, excitement and no “to do” list.
Recently, I decided to share with you some of my idiot mom moments as part of my tips. I thought these funny mom moments would help you feel better about your own parenting. Let’s just call it “Parenting for Dummies.” If you missed my post a few days ago, you might enjoy reading about another bodily function - peeing. Do you find that you have never had more poop stories in your life? I’ve never been so concerned with or annoyed with this bodily function. Here’s the tip of the day that relates to this fun subject: If you know your son is having diarrhea due to teething, don’t leave the diaper off to let the diaper rash get some open air. I have heard that the best way to cure diaper rash is to leave the diaper off for a while. It’s great advice. Perhaps you shouldn’t take that advice if you are inside and your son has been literally pooping acidic poops 7 times a day. That’s the time to leave the diaper on and stick with the cream. If you don’t follow this advice, you might…you just might…have a child that poops diarrhea, steps in it and then walks all the way across the house to come find you leaving a Hansel and Gretel like trail behind him. That just might happen to you. Sorry about the graphic nature of these posts. We’re moms. You can handle it, right?
I’m only starting to become better at this. Sometimes it seems more simple to just clean up spills myself. However, this simple tip helps them to take responsibility for their accidents. It also might help them try and be more careful next time. Kids will spill. They are still learning to manipulate items in the hand. They haven’t had 20+ years of experience like you have. Have patience. I know it feels like the fifth time it has happened today. It probably is. However, having them help clean it up will take away some of that burden. I love having a small broom, paper towels at their level, and a dust buster because they are all items they can use. I don’t like them working with the cleaning sprays, even though I buy a more natural product. I even have my 22 month old helping when he spills. Makes me wish I pursued this more when the girls were smaller.