Making Mud Pies
The last couple weeks we have been having issues with Kenzie being loud at certain times. We would ask her to be quiet or we would give her the shhh, and she’d ignore us and keep singing or talking or making whatever noise she wanted. We were frustrated. We were giving consequences but continually felt like we weren’t making progress. I have talked about training before the moment, and what I did today is similar to that. It is basically training when you aren’t in the heat of frustration. With our situation and Kenzie, I was able to practice with her when we weren’t so annoyed. I told her to sing, talk or make noise. Then, I’d ask her to be quite or tell her to shhh. Throughout the day, we practiced at random times. It did translate when I really needed her to be quiet. We will probably need to practice more, but it is so effective to work on things with kids in play as well as in neutral moments. Our game, “Yes Mommy,” is another example of practicing during neutral times.
I have done a post before on 10 Ways to Calm an Angry Child. I want to give you some more tools to handle anger in a child. I also want to encourage you to get to the root of true anger. Kids can become angry and frustrated just because they’re kids and don’t know how to handle their emotions yet. This can come from simple things like not getting exactly what they want. You may experience signs of anger. Some kids naturally have a more aggressive bent. However, other kids have true reasons to be angry. This often stems from division in spouse relationships. It can also be an evil being done to them - the evil can by physical or verbal. Sometimes there might be issues with other children at school or relationships with siblings. Maybe there are frustrations because of struggles in learning or developing. Try to get to the root of it. Please try to not live in denial about the roots. If it is something that is being imposed on them because of the relationship with your spouse, please try and fix it. It effects your kids more than you know. If it’s something external, help them. However, we need to be willing to tell our children that their feelings of anger should not be kept inside and pent up. They need tools to express it. Try and not let these activities become a reward for aggressive or angry behavior. If you can catch them quickly before it turns negative and pre-emptively strike, that’s the best idea.